Sunday, March 16, 2014

The Snarky Files: Week Ending March 15, 2014


The Snarky Files. Snarky has several definitions. I prefer "sharply critical." Here's my take on some news stories this past week. No real news here, just snark.

Bill Maher Is So Funny!
This week, Bill Maher, who makes a living by insulting conservatives and stroking the egos of liberals, decided to pick on God himself. The results, according to the best liberal audiences money can buy, were absolutely hysterical.

As he puts it: "Hey God, you know you’re kind of a [expletive] when you’re in a movie with Russell Crowe and you’re the one with anger issues. […] Conservatives are always going on about how Americans are losing their values and their morality, well maybe it’s because you worship a guy who drowns babies."

When Bill Maher speaks, you can't help but laugh at him. Unfortunately for Bill and the three people who watch his show, no one's laughing with him, especially God.

We Are a Nation in Decline
We're officially a nation in decline. How do I know for certain? Motley Crue's bass player, Nikki Six, who is 55 years old, and who has been married to not one, but two Playboy bunnies, is now married to 28 year-old model Courtney Bingham. The bride received gifts, like a candy necklace bikini top.


Nothing shows that the institution of marriage has died and has become a meaningless institution more than the union of an old heavy metal rocker with his latest girl toy. And the sad part is, most of the guys who will read this will be jealous of Nikki Six.

Excuse me while I go buy my wife a candy necklace bikini top.

Plane Mysterious
You've all read the news stories about the missing Malaysian flight MH370 disappearing into thin air. Are you now surprised to find out that it was probably hijacked and perhaps made its way to Pakistan? Me neither.

Nobamacare
President Obama keeps rewriting the "Affordable Care Act" to suit his own political whims. Besides destroying the rule of law, he's creating even more problems by executive order. Unfortunately, his executives actions haven't prevented the worst from happening to me. After losing my individual coverage because of the price increases insurance companies started to charge when Obamacare took effect, I finally got insurance through my work.

That's a good thing, right? Except that now I pay about one-third of my paycheck for health insurance that is worse than the coverage I lost last year. But as a bonus, I did gain coverage in case I ever get pregnant.

Thank you so much Mr. Obama, Ms. Pelosi, and Mr. Reid. You've made my life so much better now.