Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The Future of Feminism - Tie-Dye Armpits

I'm curious about your reaction to this latest "trend" in feminist expression - armpit hair coloring. You know, as I stand in front of the ten thousandth class full of liberalized students in my US History class, I find that year by year the "fashion" to mangle and deface the human body into some monstrosity continues unabated.

First came the tats, with women sporting the ever popular tramp stamp. Then the tats got larger and more elaborate, covering shoulders, arms, legs, necks, backs, and some faces.

At nearly the same time piercings started wandering in rows up the ears, across the eyebrows, down the nose, through the lip, and into the tongue. You've never lived until you watch the D-average student in the third row incessantly shove an inch-long steel rod back and forth through the middle of his tongue.

If any of my students have pierced nipples, I don't care to find out.

Then came the disfigurement of gauges to stretch the earlobes. Every student who sports such gauges always make me break out into song: either "Do Your Ears Hang Low" or "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot."

Which brings me back to my original question: What do you all think? Is the next trend in dyed armpits the best way for women to express their independence and empowerment?

While I have yet to encounter a student with dyed armpit hair, I still shudder every time I stand in front of a new class of students. What will be the final result of this endless expression of "individuality" and "empowerment?"

What indeed?