Thursday, June 23, 2016

On the Road Again

Idaho Falls
Well, I'm on the road (or rather in the air) attending a teaching conference in Idaho. Traveling by air is an experience I don't enjoy much anymore.

I will say that despite the best efforts of the TSA, I was allowed to pass through the Sacred Portal of Security in order to put my rear end into a seat especially designed for anorexic phone poles. Despite being a short guy, my shoulders do not fit within the allotted space for passenger comfort. Getting bumped by every butt that passed by in the isle was not an endearing experience, especially considering the flight crew on Delta airlines.

While standing around in two different airports, a lot of people walked up to me and asked me all sorts of questions or asked for directions. I’m not sure what kind of face I had on, but apparently I wore my “Yes, please ask me your inane question” face. (Despite what my students say about me, I answered their questions as best as I could.) Perhaps I should have worn my “Does Not Play Well With Others” t-shirt. Hmmmm. Planning for the next time I have to fly somewhere.

I did try to help one young thing by offering her a place in line and helping to lift her luggage. She, being of the millenial generation, could only grunt in reply to my attempts to be kind. Apparently, speech was beyond her ken. In life, I've found that being kind to people will often get you smiles and pleasant conversation. Alas, I think the millenials have broken the system.

Helpful travel hint: Two Excedrins with a Coke chaser can really be a game changer.

I was also treated to a completely entertaining display from a flight attendant. You know the federal regulation where we all have to be taught how to use a seat belt? Her speech, badly read from a script, and her dismal performance in demonstrating the intricacies of an oxygen mask, became high art in their utter lack of enthusiasm.

Well, it's nine o'clock at night here in the Land of Potatoes and really flat farmland, and the sun is still shining brightly through my west-facing window. Whoever invented daylight savings time should be treated to slow torture and then mercilessly executed. In Arizona, we don't put up with all this daylight savings time garbage.